


all i got (is a chance)

by FinalDestiny13



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Ending - Cyberpunk 2077, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Johnny Silverhand, Cyberpunk 2077 Spoilers, Cyberpunk 2077-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, H O W?, HOW COULD I FORGET THAT TAG WOW, Holding Hands, I'LL MAKE MY OWN HAPPY ENDING, I'm taking canon and breaking it's neck only to shove it in a dumpster where it belongs, LET THEM HOLD HANDS CDPR, LET V AND JOHNNY HOLD HANDS 2021, MY CANON NOW CDPR, Mental Link, OR LET THEM SMOOCH YOU BASTARDS, Pansexual V (Cyberpunk 2077), Soft Johnny Silverhand, Soft V (Cyberpunk 2077), Street Kid V (Cyberpunk 2077), They're In Love Your Honor, V AND JOHNNY BEING HELLA DOMESTIC, V goes through Relic 2.0 Electric Boogaloo Speed Run Edition, also the fandom on tumblr have lovely headcanons that i've adopted as my own, as in v and johnny find another way so neither have to die, being in each other's personal space, it's as close as they can get to being like "before" without risk of death, johnny is the more emotionally aware of the two, like a lot, so sensing each other's emotions it is, spoilers for everything bc i take what i like and make it my own
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:29:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28951971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinalDestiny13/pseuds/FinalDestiny13
Summary: “it goes something like this; you meet. you argue. you fall in love.”— and then tragedy gets in the way // L.H.Z==“FuckingArasaka,” Johnny chuckles in half madness, half disbelief. Ofcoursethe sick fucks would put his actual body on ice for their sick and twisted schemes. Like what they've done wasn'tenoughandfucked up already. Trying to playGod.V cradles her head in her hands, just as stunned. Greyson had lied.There’s a chance they could both get out of this. And if not, well, it was worth a shot.
Relationships: Female V & Jackie Welles, Female V & Viktor Vector, Johnny Silverhand & Female V, Johnny Silverhand & Misty Olszewski, Johnny Silverhand & V, Johnny Silverhand & Viktor Vector, Johnny Silverhand/Female V, Johnny Silverhand/V, Kerry Eurodyne & Johnny Silverhand, Misty Olszewski & Female V, Rogue Amendiares & Female V, Rogue Amendiares & Johnny Silverhand, mentions of past Alt Cunnigham/Johnny Silverhand, mentions of past Rogue Amendiares/Johnny Silverhand
Comments: 12
Kudos: 101





	1. (got room for) one more troubled soul

**Author's Note:**

> Invested 90 hours into this fucking game first run and got the Temperance ending. I'm sad obviously. But then I hear about the others and I detest every. single. ending. So I decided to do something about it.
> 
> What was meant to be purely smut in order to cope has turned into this monstrous thing instead that peeps on tumblr have been hearing me whine about for days. lol So here's chapter one of the 20k+ words I have written out. OTL
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Story title is from _Don't Take the Money_ by The Bleachers.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when it seemed hopeless, there's another option dangled before them. Johnny believes it's a dead end but V is determined to see it through because why the fuck not?
> 
> She's going to hold it over the rocker's head later because _holy fuck_. They may both get to live after all.
> 
> But first, V's gotta take down Arasaka. At least she's got Johnny by her side in a sense for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from _Alone Together_ by Fall Out Boy
> 
> Edited 1/29/2021: Added chapter summary and this note

“I did this to you. Am doing this to you. It’s your body and you’ll take it back,” Johnny growls, tension growing high between them yet again as he can only watch as V spits out blood to the dirt as the Relic acts up, wiping her bloodied hand on the front of her jeans. They've had this argument too many times already. She's just as stubborn, if not more so, than him even in pain. He hates it as much as he likes her having a backbone. “I’ve had my shot at life and fucked it up. You’ve still got a chance, V.”

“What makes you think I’d _want_ to keep going after?!” V shouts, finally having enough of this back and forth. A heavy silence settles in the air as her voice cracks, echoes in the empty air as they occupy a deserted gas station in the Badlands. The words are out there even if she wished to take them back. Not like she could hide it anyway, with how Johnny could so easily read her thoughts. Comes with sharing a brain. She swallows thickly, blue eyes darting down to her boots. There’s dried blood on them from where she had taken out a small group of Shivs just hours ago.

“Even if-” she breaks off to inhale sharply before exhaling slowly, eyes squeezed closed as a wave of pain throbs at her temples. It passes after a moment, that sharp wave of pain retreating until the Relic acts up again a few days from now. Her vision settles, the glitching in her vision fading with the pain. The exhaustion tugs at her in it's wake but she ignores it. “Even if- if you leave, who’s to say that the Relic wouldn’t still kill me after?”

_Removing it would instantly kill you kid_ , a teary eyed Viktor had warned her that first time she woke up after a bullet to her head, dragged to the ripper doc by Takemura himself. 

Johnny most likely sees the memory too because his inhale is just as sharp as hers was. That or because of what she’s saying. Either is plausible really.

“I get the feeling that I wouldn't live long after anyway,” V continues, hands clenching at her sides as she glares down at the dirt covered cement beneath her boots. Her voice is soft, tense but sure. She's always trusted her gut. It's what kept her alive this long. When she was nothing more than a kid with sticky fingers, eddies and valuable trinkets stolen from the pockets and purses of well off citizens that walked down the streets, her body always tense, ready to fight or flee at the first signs of trouble all in order to make just _one more day_. For what she never knew. Still doesn't. But V has always been a fighter and refuses to go out lying down. 

Johnny must pick up on that line of thought because he doesn't say anything back, even if she can tell that he disagrees. Strange how he's the one seemingly desperate to save her life now when days (weeks?) prior he had been so gung-ho about having a body just to go fuck Arasaka up again.

A long moment of heavy silence settles over them, V unwilling to look up and see if Johnny was still there, even if he could never really leave her.

There’s a long, drawn out sigh, more weary than anything. It's rare to hear him sound just as exhausted as she feels. “Fucking Arasaka.”

V laughs, hands reaching up to rid the sudden wetness in her eyes, surprised at it. It takes a lot for her to actually cry (she didn't even cry when Jack- or even after at his-), but she could probably be forgiven considering. “Yeah,” she agrees wetly, hearing him sigh again only to tense up when arms wrap around her suddenly.

Johnny is hugging her and she’s frozen by the action, peering at his vest and dog tags from between her fingers. His ‘ganic hand presses against the back of her head gently, tucking her face into the space between his shoulder and neck. A silent offering even if she can feel how uncomfortable he somewhat feels with the action. How they both feel because for her, touch has only ever resulted in pain. Even when - when Jackie had brought her around, him and his family that she could fondly and hesitantly call her own in her own head, would keep to themselves, seeing her tense at any sudden movement. Habits and instincts drilled into her very being for as long as she could remember. Vik was the only one now really to be able to touch her without getting decked in the face but even then he didn't unless extremely necessary. Even if V could see how the ripper doc forced himself to keep from reaching out whenever she visited - rare as it was now, a way to dull the pain he would surely feel at her death or so she hoped - and pulling her into a tight hug. 

But with Johnny, it's -

Well, he's not setting off her fight or flight, engram or not.

V gives a half broken sob without meaning too and is unable to stop once it starts, long held tears finally falling as she takes advantage of the sudden kindness his given her, arms winding around him in return. Long buried grief finally bubbles to the surface in the vulnerable moment as V truly feels how stretched thin her emotions are beneath her facade. She mourns for her losses and Johnny’s unwanted and wrongful fate. Mourning for both of them and this fucked up situation.

It's been close to a month but it feels so much longer, days and jobs and leads blending together as urgency thrums through her, a feeling they share as it had morphed from sharp and biting - wanting to lash out and hurt one another - into something less so. Still just as jagged but with less bite. More settled but not completely content. 

Mutual appreciation and respect. 

Growing loyalty.

( _"Feels like there's something sharp near your heart,"_ he had commented once at the Pistis Hotel. He said it so softly, nonjudgmental. Curious perhaps. Maybe a touch concerned.

V had huffed then, eyes half lidded from the bone deep weariness that she woke up to after a bullet to the brain and the ghost of a rockstar terrorist riding shotgun for whatever time remained that refused to leave now matter how much rest she got between everything. Which wasn't much at all as nightmares and memories plagued her constantly, her own and Johnny's, sometimes an awful blended version of the two at once. 

She feels that something, that sharpness, grow wider as she considered the statement. It was hard to tell if it was because of her or not. Each day was a little more difficult to tell who was feeling what as Johnny slowly but surely took over her being.

It doesn't hurt as much in the beginning to think about, even if she feels a heaviness at the fact. Something more than exhaustion but just as deep. 

Sad.

_"Don't think that's going away anytime soon,"_ she replied just as softly. Had meant it. 

Still does.)

Now here they were and vivid hallucination or not, Johnny is just as solid as the real thing, even if he doesn’t breathe or have a heartbeat. The comfort he gives right then is enough for V. 

It's what she, they both, need at that moment, her sobs growing louder and harsher as Johnny helps keep her tethered. A silent sentinel who feels much the same but unwilling to express it himself. A small break - in both senses - before they have to keep going. To see this through, whatever the outcome may be even if one or both of them are kicking and screaming, howling in a blaze of glory and righteous anger at the options they have.

They don’t really argue about it much after that. But if they do, it's just as tense but less heated, both stewing in bitter, depressing silence before moving on.  
  


* * *

  
It's unbelievable. 

_Somehow_ , another option crops up just when they were about to throw in the towel and the two seized the chance dangling in front of them.

Johnny’s body wasn’t destroyed after all, V chasing down the rumor even if Johnny said it was bullshit. She could tell he was lying, only griping about it out of habit that she was wasting precious time following a dead end. Even so, she felt like they should exhaust all their options, no matter how outlandish they may seem. 

She's glad she listened to her gut and decides to hold this over Johnny's head later, the two still too much in shock over the truth. 

“Fucking _**Arasaka**_ ,” Johnny chuckles in half madness, half disbelief. Of _course_ the sick fucks would put his actual body on ice for their sick and twisted schemes. Like what they've done wasn't _enough_ and _fucked up already_. Trying to play _God_.

V cradles her head in her hands, just as stunned. Greyson had lied. Been lied to about where Johnny's body had been dumped. She's relieved and knows that Johnny is too even as he paces before her. 

There’s a chance they could both get out of this. And if not, well, it was worth a shot. It was a suicide run to begin with, but V was willing to take it, unwilling to take any other of her ~~family~~ friends into this one for fear of failure, Johnny and her in rare agreement on it as they refused to get Rogue involved as well. 

"She's got a kid," Johnny murmurs, his defenses up in the shape of his shades and vest. Recalls when V had briefly noticed the crude crayon drawing of the Afterlife Queen framed on her desk with _Mommy_ scribbled at the top, when they were talking business not long ago. Kid could be full grown for all they know. The point still stands regardless. "She's moved on and I finally gotta accept that. No use dragging her back down with me and painting a target on them."

"You sure?" V asks even if she knows the answer, proud but also sad on his behalf. Knows what he felt for Rogue and Alt, brief and quick and messy as they had been in his life. Watches as he pulls his shades off, metal fingers tapping against the frames as he finally looks at her. 

He huffs, smile bittersweet. "She's changed in the last fifty years and I'm startin' to realize I have too." Johnny chuckles, aviators glitching away with a grin as V startles at the implication, the merc at a loss for words. "Enough of pointless shit. Let's talk plans, Samurai. This choom of yours is at least already dead in a way so no other death will be on your conscious if the retrieval goes to shit." He reaches his hand out to her, one eyebrow arched. "How about it?"

V doesn't hesitate to reach out and grab on to his forearm, Johnny pulling her up from her spot on the hood of her Hella as he returns the gesture, her grin matching his own. "Going out with guns blazing? Wouldn't have it any other way, Johnnyboy." She wouldn't want anyone else by her side either. 

Johnny laughs softly as V feels agreement thrum through their connection alongside something else. But there's no time to dwell on it, Johnny immediately giving ideas and scenarios the moment she gets in the driver's seat and speeds back to her apartment.

It's a stupid and reckless as fuck plan. 

Suits them perfectly.  
  


* * *

  
She manages to infiltrate Arasaka HQ after a lot of prep work (more than she's ever done but she, they, _needed_ to get this right and plan for _everything_ ), using her skills and Johnny’s tense warnings to sneak in as far as she could go, cameras shutting down and turrets becoming her allies, ready to fire the moment she's seen and the alert goes out to security. The more she can hold off on alerting someone, the better. But she's used to sneaking around and using quick hacks, killing silently and hiding the corpses and bots away in darkened corners and out of view. She takes her time even more now, Johnny not hounding her like usual, both aware of what's at stake. Wanting this to work out despite how _bat shit **insane**_ it is to do this solo. V manages to get near the top before someone _finally_ takes notice. 

" ** _V!_** " Johnny shouts in alarm as he manages to take some control and forcefully have her dodge to the side and out of the way of a rushing Adam Smasher before he could crush her against a nearby pillar. V is on high alert from the cyborg's sudden appearance and Johnny's takeover even if they had accounted for him to show. Even as she feels terror flow through her as he straightens up and faces her (recalling Evelyn's fear, feeling her's and _Johnny’s_ own right now at Smasher standing before them), V steels herself with Johnny in her ear, growl in his voice and his rage singing in her blood as she cuts off Smasher's ping for backup, hears the turrets turn on down the hall and start shooting down the few guards she left breathing. V stares down the cyborg with Malorian Arms in hand, already aimed at Smasher's head, finger on the trigger. Knows that taking him down will be the worst obstacle she'll have to overcome. Outsmart and outmaneuver.

"I recognize that gun," he remarks, uncaring of the chaos of bullets and screams that echoes from down the hall. His cold, stoic gaze sweeps up from the weapon to meet her steely one. "I recognize that cockiness. You are the one who carries the stolen Relic. Carries _Silverhand_."

V sneers, feeling Johnny hovering out of her view and over her shoulder. She briefly sees her hand flicker out of the corner of her eyes with tattoos and rings not her own but ignores it, knows better than to look away from a predator who's noticed your presence. When she speaks, her voice echoes with a lower thrum. Her and Johnny completely synced with one another in this very moment without the warning flashing in her optics and blood clogging the back of her throat. "Eat shit, _asshole_ ," they reply, a hidden promise laced within the threat. 

Smasher laughs and V/Johnny pulls the trigger.  
  


* * *

  
They came out the victor even with odds stacked impossibly high against them.

_Again._

Behind them they leave Smasher in pieces. Still alive but with no means to move or call for backup and no help arriving anytime soon. V made sure of that before he showed.

Johnny thought it was a fitting end as whatever humanity was left in Smasher had cropped up, questioning if what he felt was pain. That it was a foreign feeling to him. "Maybe we _should_ have shot him," he says as he leans on a shoulder beside V in the elevator she had limped her way to, watching as she snaps her left shoulder back into place with ease and familiarity, barely wincing at it much less the bruised ribs she most likely has, the pain a dull throb because of the adrenaline and other injuries. Continues watching as she tests her weight on her right ankle to judge how bad it is, releasing a hiss at the pain that shoots up her leg. 

_Fractured_ , he catches as he skims her thoughts. _Still better than a busted knee. Gotta adjust to make up for it._ He feels ill at the thought. Or is that just V's nausea he's getting? The one that's been there since she woke up in that landfill and only worsens as the time goes on and the Relic takes over. 

V looks up at him after assessing herself, half hoping there's no one else to go through even if they both know she can still keep going. Would keep going until her body finally gave out, regardless of who was driving it. She huffs out a laugh, shrugging her good shoulder, Malorian still in hand as a precaution for when they stopped. If she picks up on his feelings, then she doesn't hint at it. 

"We can go back after if ya want," she offers, smile lazy as she lifts his gun up at the implication. Funny how despite wielding it, she still considered it his the moment she held it. "Finish him off like he tried with you all those years ago." 

The freckles and blemishes on her face are covered in a mix of blood, bruises, and debris, her cyberware glinting dimly in the light of the elevator. They look like the frames of reading glasses almost, sat just beneath her eyes. Smasher was not easy to take down even as they worked together seamlessly. He's glad they tossed aside the idea of walking in through the front door. The goal was to get them _both_ out alive or die trying. 

"Nah," he replies after a few seconds, head tilting down until he's peering at her from over the top of his aviators. A peek behind his defenses. "Got more important things to take care of."

The elevator dings and opens to a silent, darkened floor before V can respond to that, Johnny glitching from her view as she feels something unfurl in her chest. It's put on the back burner at his prodding that _Time's a wastin', V_ as she pushes herself off the wall, dredging up all the energy and determination she can with Johnny's silent encouragement. They're near the end now and like hell were they gonna stop here over _feelings_ and what Johnny was _implying_.

_Later_ , Johnny says to her as she cautiously inspects the area. The silence and emptiness has them on edge.

_Better_ , she threatens silently though it falls flat at hearing the promise there before moving on.  
  


* * *

  
V locates the server room and plugs in Alt's chip. The AI would help them find his body quicker than she would on her own. 

Whatever defenses and guards are left in Arasaka are immediately fried and dealt with as Alt takes full control of Arasaka's servers, but that's not what V is really more concerned about.

" _I have located it_ ," Alt rings out from the building's speakers. " _Follow the lights. I must deal with NetWatch at the moment. Then we shall begin._ "  
  


* * *

  
V leaves two hours later after her infiltration with a half stumbling, half conscious Johnny Silverhand at her side as Arasaka’s building goes up in a fiery explosion behind them thanks to Alt's assistance. (Whatever was left "alive" of Smasher goes up with it, Alt sending V a personal message about it before she disappears back into the safety of the Net, far from NetWatch's reach as she retreats behind the Blackwall. She'll tell Johnny later.)

She manages to drag them both inside Delamain and has the automated car drive them to Vik, the doc calling her the same time news breaks out of the damage they left behind. Night City was always quick about that sort of thing, especially if a top player was involved. V answers the call immediately, glancing down at Johnny who's slumped against her side, his organic hand gripping tight onto her own despite it's shaking, his eyes darting around the car and scenery outside. His cyberarm hangs uselessly at his side.

"V! Please tell me that-" 

She cuts her friend off quickly but never removes her gaze from Johnny as the rockerboy finally looks at her. Dark eyes sweep across her face frantically as his hand squeezes hers tighter. His mouth opens to say something but all that comes out is a rough wheeze. V can't help but grin, free hand coming up to rest against his cheek, thumb brushing against the skin above his beard. He's _warm_ beneath the drying coolant unlike his engram had been. She feels her heart skip a beat as she watches Johnny close his eyes at the touch, exhaling heavily as he slumps against her further, looking a bit peaceful. 

"Got room for two for a bit?" She asks but doesn't wait for an actual response. Her voice is rough, out of breath and exhausted. "I have Johnny with me." She goes to say more, explain some of it, but her vision is darkening at the corners as the worst headache by far slams against her skull, her holo glitching in and out with it as LED warnings flash in her optics.

_**RELIC MALFUNCTION DETECTED** _

She barely hears Delamain say something about vitals. 

Vik is swearing on the other end of the call as her hand falls from Johnny's face, suddenly too weak and in too much pain to keep it there. Johnny's eyes snap open in alarm as he manages to push himself upright, releasing his white knuckled grip on V's hand and she mourns the loss of it even as her vision fades in and out. Her call cuts off, distantly registering Vik's swearing shifting into frantic yelling before it does as her head falls back against the seat, everything just becoming too much at once suddenly, pain the only thing she can register as warnings flash and glitch consistently in her optics. Something warm and wet drips from her nose. 

V feels a different warmth, a hand, on her face, fingers rough and calloused angling her head back down and holding it there. It's shaking.

"V...come on..." she hears whispered harshly to her before it turns somewhere else. There's a hard thump against something soft. " ** _FASTER!_** " 

It's all she remembers before she's plunged in darkness.  
  


* * *

  
Vik feels his heart drop as Delamain pulls up and screeches to a halt at the alley gate entrance, door already flying open. He doesn't have time to be surprised that Johnny Silverhand himself is awake and glaring at him, V's unconscious body draped against him and blood dripping from her nose over the blood already stained there from her assault on Arasaka apparently. 

_**Fucking Hell.** _

_Not again_ , he thinks even as he rushes over, calling for Misty over his shoulder in a panicked shout as he drags V out and into his arms, Silverhand growling at him to help V as he tumbles out of the car ungracefully. Silverhand mentions something about the Relic rewriting V with herself, but Vik throws all his questions to the wayside. V's life is his top priority right now.

_Not again_ , he thinks as he leaves the panicked Misty to attend to Silverhand as he carries V bridal style and rushes her down into his clinic, panic barely pushed away as he gets into his needed mindset.

_Thank god_ , he finally thinks over an hour later as V finally stabilizes after crashing two more times on his table. Steps back to watch Silverhand stumble up and out of the wheelchair Misty brought him down in after the all clear only to fall down on his still too shaking knees at her beside, gripping her hand in his organic one and eyes focused intently on V's now clean face. The panic on Silverhand's face seems to lessen, but is still there beneath the fatigue of occupying his own body again.

Fuck. What a mess to deal with. 

Vik and Misty step outside to give him some privacy despite the questions that weigh heavily on their tongues. Once they do, the ripper doc breaks down in relief as Misty hugs him.   
  


* * *

  
_Alt stares down at them in thought._

_“I separated you from one another as much as I could,” she had admitted before they returned to their bodies. V had sworn the AI smirked at their growing alarm, cutting off any rebuttals they had. She had seemed amused. Reminiscent of what was once human. “If I ripped the data out further, you would both surely die. Had we tried the original idea of removing Johnny completely, I see that V would have only survived for six months after. Your body would have rejected you as Johnny has taken a large part of your neural network already."_

_There's a heavy silence at that before the AI continues._

_"Brains are like computers of their own. Complex and never truly forgetful of what has been learned. And you both have become far too intertwined by now to truly separate into who you once were. Perhaps, that is for the best.”_

_V is definitely sure that Alt leveled a stare at Johnny there. More surprising was that Johnny didn’t immediately refute it. He was more pissed about what the price was. "So V's gotta go through all that shit again? The spittin' blood and seizures and shit?"_

_"Correct," Alt confirms. If V didn't know better, she would say that the AI had a touch of remorse there. Maybe she did. "The process is the same with V's own engram replacing her current neural network. As stated before, it will be a mix of you both. This way will ensure that her body won't reject her own self once you mostly leave it, Johnny. Once it's complete, you'll be able to safely remove the chip and continue your life."_

_"I don't like it," Johnny barks as he spins to V. His walls are up, aviators and vest donned even here in the depths of the Net._

_She sighs, weary. "Neither do I, but it's our best shot. **My** best shot," she states softly. "I'm willing to take it."_

_Johnny cards a hand through his hair as he paces in irritation. He stops after a moment, standing before her, his aviators gone. V can clearly see the worry in his eyes now and it does something to her. Helps sooth her fear and resignation just a bit. Because he's just as scared as she is about this even if Alt had guaranteed that she would be fine after. That they both would when they were placed back in their own bodies. She just had to go through round two of this Relic bullshit for another few weeks._

_"You're the most stubborn gonk I've ever met." Johnny's voice is tight, filled with anger and resignation._

_V responds with a wet laugh, a knot in the back of her throat, an insult ready to fly almost by reflex. It doesn't. "Tell me something I don't know."  
  
_

* * *

  
When V awakens after a week, she's greeted to a familiar room, lights dimmed and coating the room in darkness more than usual. It's Vik's clinc. She sits up slowly, feeling weak and like she had been tackled by Sasquatch like that one time, blue eyes darting around frantically. She remembers passing out from pain in Delamain with Johnny frantically calling out to her. Where was...?

"Johnny?" she croaks out, mind reaching out like she had been accustomed to doing, hints of her growing panic tightening her lungs when he doesn't immediately appear. She feels something like shock first before an onslaught of emotions not her own surge at her. " _Fuck_ ," she hisses as she cradles her forehead, temples throbbing. The pain eases right after as the emotions dim somehow and she breathes a sigh of relief. V jumps as the entrance door slams open above, already tensing up in reflex, legs already dangling off the bed she was in and pushing herself to stand as her free hand grabs the scalpel off the tray near her, her panic pushed to the wayside. The sound of boots frantically hitting the ground before the gate slams open and against the wall telling her exactly where they are even as she swears silently at herself for how _weak_ she feels and is.

" _ **V?!**_ " 

The scalpel falls from her weak grip to the floor with a clatter as the voice registers, Johnny soon appearing in her view with a wide grin. He's out of breath and it clicks that he had ran down here. She faintly hears Vik yelling after him about something.

" _Johnny_ ," she sobs out in relief as her legs shake before they give out on her. The rockerboy darts forward, catches her before she can hit the floor and she clings to him. Feels and hears how _alive_ he is. 

"You're fuckin' _insane_ ," he breathes out, squeezing her tighter against him. Feels the fear that's not her own lessen. How hers does the same in return. How it's replaced with awe and something grateful instead. She can't tell if it's her's, Johnny's, or a mix of them both.

"Have to be to have dealt with you for so long," she laughs weakly. Her hands grip his shirt tightly, just now noticing it's his clothes she had discovered on jobs and having tucked them away into the bag she always kept in her car of the day as none but the Samurai tank fit her properly. Had only wore the tank when her shirt had become too bloody or ripped and had to be tossed out and replaced until she could get a new one. The same Samurai tank she gripped as tight as she could right now. 

It's not long after that Vik comes down, irritation morphing to shock then relief at seeing V awake and alert as Johnny maneuvers her back onto the bed she's occupied. The ripper doc says he's going to give her another check up now that she's alert and aware of her surroundings. It's quick, the routine familiar, and once it's over, Vik drags V in for a tight hug. V flails her arms at the suddenness but gives in after a few seconds and returns it while flipping off a smirking Johnny.

Johnny's smirk grows as V then has to sit through a long ass lecture that she can't physically run away from. Seemed fair since he got his over a week ago. Along with a nasty shiner once he was well enough to stand on his own two feet without tripping.  
  


* * *

  
"You two get along well," V comments as she leans against Johnny for support as he helps her walk around the alley between Vik's and Misty's shops. She has to rebuild her stamina after Vik put her into a temporary coma to give her body a break as the Relic worked through her brain again. Knows because Johnny told him everything for her benefit as it moved faster this time around. Vik estimates another week, maybe two, before the chip finishes the process completely. It seems unreal but the migraines and coughing up blood and random nosebleeds say otherwise. 

The damned seizures even. 

(Johnny has always caught her in those moments before she hits the floor as he senses them come on seconds before they happen, holding her tightly against his chest as she shakes in pain and fear. Reassures her that he's got her just like last time, his voice strong and sure in those moments even if she can see the worry and echoed pain in his gaze. 

She just hates that Vik and Misty had been witness to a few, horrified as they could only watch, sedatives doing nothing to help ease the pain.)

"Had a lot to talk about while waiting for sleeping beauty to wake from her slumber," he says, teasing, and earns a laugh for it. 

They did. At first it was about V, Vik yelling at him that if it wasn't for Johnny, she wouldn't have suffered as much. Become as reckless as she did. The rockerboy had just taken it all in stride and let the man vent because there was truth in it. And when Johnny refused to bite back and deny the accusations hurled at him, Vik had taken a deep breath before gruffly apologizing. Johnny had shrugged it off and they left it at that. Then they had eventually bonded over hobbies like music and sports while Vik worked on making his arm functional again, Johnny's eyes always focused on V's sleeping form during those sessions. He had to see she was alright for himself even if the machines signaled she was, could feel her just on the edge of his senses as she slept. 

(Which was a relief because being in his own body now was so _strange_. Overwhelming even.)

Johnny could see why V looks up to the man as a pseudo older brother/father figure. (Not that she had many to begin with from what he knows of.) He's a hard ass when called for, but highly protective of those he cares about and willing to lay someone out if need be. Johnny distantly remembers the few emails V came across in some gigs sent to the ripper doc from some Scavs. How the doc told them to _go fuck themselves_ and that he refused to do business with them. That he wouldn't hesitate to end them himself if they came near his shop or contacted him again. A split jaw the least of their concerns.

( _V swallows heavily, eyes misty though no tears make an appearance. Gaze far and unseeing as she lies in the backseat of her car staring at the roof, too tired to drive back to her apartment after a long day of working. Johnny had appeared in the seat where her feet were, fingers lazily drumming against the toe of her boots for lack of anything better to do, his signature shades and vest gone. It was one of those few rare nights where the best thing V could do was focus on something else that wasn't involved with their predicament. So Johnny had asked about her life before him. How she met the ones she called family mentally. That he didn't poke around those memories for lack of anything better to do because it was drenched with too much emotion and he had the feeling it would effect her in the real world too if he went snooping while she worked._

_"Jackie," she starts then stops. Still a sore spot for her because it wasn't even a month yet but she doesn't have the time to- "I once asked him why Vik was so...nice to me. When I had tried to sell out Jackie when we first met."_

_"To be fair," Johnny interrupts with a drawl. It was one of the first memories he had witnessed upon his, for lack of a better term, awakening. Before it had morphed into fear and anguish as her partner breathed his last inches before her, his blood coating her cheek and neck. Her hand even, where beneath the red shined his soulkiller chip brightly before it was wiped off in a numb daze on her pants before she inserted it into her port for safety. The rest was, as they say, history. "He **did** hold a gun to your head first. **Before** the cops showed." He grins at the resulting laugh, choked as it was. Success. He nudges her boot playfully a few minutes later, feeling her drift too far into past memories. Still not wanting to intrude on it himself when he could do so easily. He's taken enough from her already. But like he said before: he wasn't going to fuck this up. Not what they have. "What did your homeboy tell you?"_

_V snorts at the wording, earning another shove of her foot that rocks right back into place, amusement subsiding. "He looked me in the eyes and grabbed me by the shoulders and said ' **V, chica.'** " She ignores Johnny's amused huff at the imitation of her friend. Brother. Can picture Jackie clear as day with that big old smile of his. She misses him so dearly that it hurts. "' **I never told you this because Vik would have my head spinning permanently, but he's confessed to me that he sees something in you.'** Why Jackie, I asked. What could he possibly see in a street rat like me?" _

_She smiles fondly, remembering how Jackie immediately moved to place her in a headlock, knuckles dragging against her scalp playfully, mussing her hair as she struggled to break free and reminding her not to talk about his best friend like that. How he lets go a minute later only to knock his knuckles against her collarbone, against the large golden V surrounded by roses and the butterfly tatted there as a bet she lost against him that she displays proudly despite it, his face serious once more. "' **He sees this, girly. That you have a good heart under it all. And familia looks out for their own. But again, you heard nothing from me, eh, hermana?'** " _

_She remembers how vulnerable she felt then, after he said it. Unable to believe it was true because the doc barely knew her. But it had to be. Jackie had been honest, that much she could tell. Had no reason to lie about something like that anyway to her. Oh how she wonders, even now, how Jackie could tell on that fateful day they met that she was worth something. If he just saw someone hurting, someone who lashed out at the world around them because they had no one to rely on but their own self. That Night City had eaten her up and kept sinking it's teeth further and further and further into her with no hope or mercy in sight. Remembers his grin, a twinkle in his eyes as he looks down at her. Had never made her feel small even as he towered over her by a good five inches or even the few times he engulfed her in a hug, able to easily crush her if he so desired, like he did to one of their enemies one time on a job. How he always joked that one of his readings from Misty mentioned meeting someone important soon. When he least expected it. Was convinced it was V all along even if she brushed it aside time and time again. But it felt nice, even more so when Misty would look at her with a glint in her eyes, mouth pulled into a strange but amused smile. Always made V feel like she actually belonged somewhere. Was wanted._

_Loved even, foreign as the word was to her._

_Johnny is quiet for a moment, nudging her boot again when he feels her drift too far into misery and what ifs territory again, watching as it falls off his lap before V just brings it right back. He huffs. Childish. "Did the doc find out?"_

_V snorts, hand moving to muffle the sound this time. Her mouth tugs into a grin. "Misty overheard and told him. Vik challenged Jackie to a match and decked him within ten seconds. Lovingly, might I add which is funny because the longest fight they had was twelve rounds. Jackie had a large ass bruise for a few days. Mama Welles said he had it coming for talking about a friend behind their back and revealing something confidential."_

_Johnny laughs, head thrown back with the effort. V can't help but stare at the sight._ )

So, yeah, he does genuinely like the guy. Johnny respects that the man is looking out for V. Has been since she stepped into the doc's life despite how weary V was about everyone. She sure as fuck didn’t do so herself even before he came along, let alone after. She will now though. 

He'll make sure of it himself.  
  


* * *

  
V sobs, curled into a ball, hands buried in her hair and eyes unseeing as a trickle of blood leaks from her nose. She's curled up in Johnny's lap, the rockerboy having pulled her there when another attack started up. Vik had left quickly, shoulders tense, hating the fact he could do nothing to help. That V has to do this all again only now he has to witness the agony she had dealt with out there.

" _Jackie_...I'm so sorry. I'm _sorry_. _Please don't leave me, hermano._ "

Johnny tightens his hold further, nose buried in her hair as a wave of sorrow and anguish slams at him. He may not be able to read her mind anymore but he knows exactly what memory V is reliving. Pictures it in vivid detail from when the duo entered the hotel all the way up until she wakes up in a landfill, half dead.

He fucking hates this process. "I got you, V," he says despite knowing she won't hear it, too lost in reliving her memories.  
  


* * *

  
V slumps against something, the too familiar feeling of exhaustion tugging at her very being as her own grip on her hair lessens. She feels the dried tears on her cheeks and the sweat on her forehead and wonders how long she's been reliving her latest set of memories. Feels the blood dried on her lip and chin, staining her pants. Her eyes close as a hand combs through the back of her sweat slick hair, sinking further into the body she was pressed against. Knows instinctively it's Johnny without looking because this was still too much for Vik and Misty to handle, temporary as it was.

"Alt really said speed run edition, huh?" she breathes out, voice weak and wobbly even as she tries to make light of it. Has to because crying even more sounds like too much effort right now. Her lips pull into a tired smile as the chest beneath her shakes, the laugh hollow and tense.

"Guess so."  
  


* * *

  
Misty hums in thought, a spread before her on the small table in front of V. They were on the roof of the Esoterica in the afternoon, Night City bright and loud as life continued on far below them. A change of view and some fresh air for V as she was still recovering, having grown restless staring at Vik's clinic walls for days already and feeling somewhat guilty that he had canceled his usual clients as she healed. Moving and staying here for a few hours had been the compromise for everyone. 

V and Johnny watch on curiously, even if the rockerboy claimed he didn't believe in that _mysticism shit_ when Misty offered a reading. She had taken his refusal in stride before offering the same to V, who always took the offer even if she wasn't completely sold on the thing. It's a trait that Misty liked about V. How she was always willing to lend an ear to anyone, no matter who they were.

"The Moon. The Sun. The Star." She points to each before tapping on The Moon. The cards are all upright. A good sign. "Your intuition has seen you through all the illusions and appearances the world has given to try and deceive you. You have stayed true to your dreams and desires, no matter how hopeless it may have seemed along your journey."

V can't help but glance up at Johnny who's sitting across from her on the ledge, having been peering down at the city below beforehand. Knows her eyes meet his even if he's wearing his aviators to block out the sun as a thrum of smug amusement tickles at her senses followed by an arched eyebrow. Her face warms before she darts her attention back to Misty, giving the woman a glare at the knowing smile she has before moving on. 

"The Sun is both truth and the bright future ahead, it's light always able to pull back the shadows of the world so that you may yet live the freedom you have gained. The worst of your journey is over, having helped shaped you into the person you are now." Misty taps the last card. "The Star is hope, the light that shines to guide your way home should you ever lose your way. Your inspiration and motivation to keep going forward as the next step of your new journey begins, wherever that may lead."

V frowns. "That's all a good thing, right? It sounds good," she questions, still having some trouble understanding the double meaning. What Misty wasn't saying.

Johnny finally speaks up, gaze intense on the three card spread before it shifts up to a smiling Misty who looks knowingly at him, Sun tarot in hand as she places it back in her tarot deck. "That's what she's sayin', V. What? You suddenly can't comprehend the obvious?" He chuckles, leaning forward as he places his chin in his flesh hand, elbow resting on his leather clad thigh. The sunshine glints off of the ring he wears. It's one of V's that she has never worn as it slipped off too much, but instead of selling it she had left the item to gather dust in one of her drawers back at the apartment for some reason. She felt a rush of emotion the first time she saw it. "Color me surprised."

V glares heatedly at him. She goes to stand but is stopped by Misty's hand on her bicep. She crosses her arms instead, slouching further down into her seat, legs kicking out in front of her. The toe of her boot is close enough to kick the bottom of Johnny's shoe. She does, getting a laugh from Misty and what she knows is an eye roll from the rockerboy. "Boy, am I glad you have a body now because I can _finally_ punch the shit out of you," she growls.

"You can try," he drawls, not rising up to the bait. "Hasn't worked yet."

" ** _Bet._** "


	2. i'm still standing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V continues to suffer from Relic 2.0: Electric Boogaloo Speed Run Edition.
> 
> Johnny has a mini crisis as he stops lying to himself because he _has_ that luxury now.
> 
> And V finally discovers what _home_ feels like again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad to see people are enjoying this silly thing with me! :3 Appreciate it! 
> 
> Oh! If you're curious to know what my girl V looks like [here](https://iwantedtobeadored.tumblr.com/post/641432352990576640/this-is-more-of-a-way-for-me-to-reference-valkyrie) you go!
> 
> Chapter title is _I'm Still Standing_ by Elton John.

Misty had returned to her shop not long after, leaving V and Johnny to themselves. The rockerboy is sat on one of the couches in the corner now, shaded from the sun, his aviators hanging off his tank as his dark eyes trail after the pacing V in front of him, small as the area is in this section. His lips can't help but curl up in amusement because that's his trait when he's feeling restless. And V is feeling exactly that as she's essentially been grounded from anything until this Relic finishes it job. 

For the last time. 

"I think your friend will get mad if you wear a hole in the roof, V," he states. He smirks when she gives him a glare before she walks over and drops down beside him with a huff. He's mildly surprised when she lays down, placing her head in his lap, blue eyes squinting up at him with her mouth pulled into a frown. It's only a second later he senses pain not his own through their bond. (Making a name for it was still weird. It was and wasn't that all at once.) Thing is, it's _muted_ judging by the way she flinches. Johnny arches an eyebrow at that and tucks that bit of info away for later. May come in handy later on.

"Just...give me a bit," she mumbles, wincing as a migraine makes itself known, eyes squeezing shut. It's better than the bleeding and seizures that's for sure. Still hurt like a bitch though. Like a sledgehammer slamming against her skull every second. It caused her enough pain that staying upright was one of the worst things she could do until it passed. She rubs at her temples to help somewhat ease the ache even though it's a futile effort. "Fucking _Christ_ ," she mutters, voice strained.

There's a heavy sigh from above her and something clinking before there's _cold_ on her forehead. V jerks in surprise, eyes opening to see Johnny removing his _cyberhand_ but she's quick to pull it right back into it's spot. "Wait, wait, wait," she says, sighing in relief when the coolness of the metal provides a sharp relief against her heated skin. She can feel Johnny's amusement before he lets out a chuckle, her lips ticking up into a smile.

Johnny smirks, a glint in his dark eyes as he stares down at her. "I've noticed you've developed an attachment to it. I regret to inform you that, no, it does not vibrate. _Yet_."

V laughs even though it hurts, her free hand lifting to smack against his chest before dropping it back onto her stomach. Doesn't deign him worthy enough just yet to open her eyes, pain slightly lessened. "How has your head not popped from that _massive_ ego of yours yet?"

Johnny shrugs his free shoulder even though she can't see it. "Some of it's stored in my impressive cock, I'm sure." He grins when that gets another laugh out of V. Johnny firmly ignores that hint of warmth he feels whenever he gets that reaction even if it's great to see V more open than before. Able to laugh a bit easier as the threat of imminent death from the Relic isn't something to be concerned about anymore. (It's still worrying regardless as he can do nothing but watch as she goes through it all again.)

V hums as her laugh dies down, moving Johnny's cyberhand down to her cheek now, sighing happily at the difference in temperature. More that Johnny is letting her do this so freely and without complaint. He simply reclines his head on the back of the sofa, eyes closing in this strangely comfortable atmosphere they've created, even as the afternoon of Night City pulses with life not far from them. His organic arm is stretched atop the sofa, fingers tapping out a beat in his head against the worn material.

They stay like that for sometime, Johnny sure that she's not going to give him an answer, not that he was truly seeking one. Just curious. But if there's something he's learned from V, it's to pick his battles, to know when to let things go. And yet, his little merc continues to surprise him.

"You're right," she admits softly, his chrome hand having been moved to press against her other cheek a minute before. 

Johnny lifts his head, blinking slowly as he's pulled out of his own little world before tilting his head down to look at her. Blue eyes meet brown. "Hmm?"

V presses his metal hand against her face like she's trying to meld them back together and he gets it. Because he feels the same way sometimes. How even being pressed up against one another, something simple like this, doesn't seem _good_ _enough_. Like there's something still _off_ about them and the only way to make it better is if they were like before, their minds seemingly confused by this new situation and doing it's best to correct and right itself as it grasped for some semblance of what had become their new normal. But it's not an option. Not when V's life, his own too at her insistence, was the heavy price to pay. 

V is the first to look away, cheeks flushing red in embarrassment as she stares at the SAMURAI logo of his tank. "It, um-" she cuts herself off, teeth digging into her bottom lip in a strange cocktail of shame, embarrassment, and honesty. 

Johnny can't find it in himself to poke fun at her, taken aback by the sight. That warmth returns in his chest and he silently swears to himself. He knows what that emotion is now. (Fuck. Who's he kidding? He's known for _awhile_ just what he was feeling but there was no point to dwell on it then when he was going to get wiped in the end. That there was no reason to pull V along like that when it was going to end just as quickly as any other relationship he had in life. Until, well. 

Now it's real and has a way higher chance than before to happen and fuck _fuck **fuck**_.

He doesn't want to fuck up this one _good_ thing he has. And so he'll use something else that V had taught him. 

Patience. 

Because V? She was _worth_ waiting for.)

V gathers enough courage to continue on with her admission, unaware of the mental crisis Johnny was having as she scrounged her thoughts and words together. "It helps to remind me. That you're not just an engram anymore." V feels how hot her face keeps getting but doesn't dare look away from the faded white lettering that she's trying to burn a hole through. But her mouth keeps moving, unable to stop her thoughts now because, fuck if it's not a lot. Like her thoughts just bounce around in her too empty skull now even if that bond - _whatever_ \- they have still thrums with life between them still. "That I'm not just fucking _losing_ it. Or dying all over again. Or that-"

" _V_." 

It's said so softly but she catches it anyway because even when Johnny was at his most asshole-ish, V still heard him out. Sought for his opinion and presence because while it had sucked, at least she wasn't alone either, twisted as the thought was. (What was the saying? Misery loves company?) She closes her eyes, exhaling heavily as a metal thumb brushes against the skin of her cheek. It should be weird that she willingly seeks out another like this, should have all her warning bells going off. But they don't because for some time, no matter how short it was, Johnny _was_ V. V _was_ Johnny. They were the worst and best of each other all at once. Puzzle pieces that somehow fit so well together even now.

And barring that, V's a touch starved bitch in general and she's hedging all her bets that Johnny is too what with the fifty odd years spent as fucking _code_. Hell, she half expected him to push or pull away when she would near, trying to invade his space and taking liberties with his person, this Relic Round Two bullshit aside. 

"I get it," he says just as softly. And V knows he does, a surge of assurance and understanding brushing her way. And just like that, the matter is settled as something unspoken slots into place, any lingering doubts soothed. Johnny doesn't mind if she reaches out to him from then on, specifically to press her cheek or forehead against the shoulder of his cyberarm, or how her hands tighten ever so slightly around his mechanical hand when it's all too much for her that day. Or just taking his metal hand in hers, her shaking fingers tracing the lines of metal on top slowly, memorizing it as a way to ward off fresh memories and nightmares, before flipping his hand over to do the same to his palm, tracing the black joints, V's mouth ticking up slightly when metal fingers twitch with each light brush. It's how V discovers that yes, Johnny has sensation in his cyberarm as well, most notably in his hand. 

Sometimes, Johnny will give her a smirk and a waggle of eyebrows that will have V laughing and shoving at him in reply before she's right back on him, feeling a smidge better than she was before. 

And when Vik and Misty are witness to one of these moments, Johnny will just shrug his free shoulder before returning to watch whatever was on the tv screen at the time. "Helps," is all he says at the questioning and concerned but amused looks. It's enough because they never act like they'll press for anything more even if Vik ends up watching V like a hawk a little more often after that. 

"I don't know _how_ I know this, but I feel like I'm being supervised on a date like I'm a teenager whenever Vik is in the room," V remarks one night, when they're both crowded against each other on a spare bed set up in the back of the clinic. There's another but it has stayed empty since the first night V woke up from her temporary coma, having been pulled onto Johnny's cot by him, V shaking and shivering with memories turned nightmares hounding at her mind. Johnny laughs and the air is warm against her face. It smells of mint toothpaste and her favorite brand of bubblegum he swiped the last piece of hours ago. 

"So it's _not_ just me then," he muses aloud, even if they both know it's because the ripper doc is half expecting V to drop dead at any second despite their constant reassurances that Alt said V would be fine after. His organic hand is clasped in V's, their fingers intertwined, his tattooed hand having slotted into place so easily as it sought her's out with little thought. There's a moment of silence, both simply just _being_ before Johnny breaks it. "Think if I call him dad, he'll hit me?"

V snorts before bursting into laughter. Her eyes crinkle at the corners, the bridge of her nose scrunched up with her amusement that bursts so happily and melds with his own. Johnny's not one for being sentimental, but he can't help but think it's one of the most gorgeous sights and sounds he's ever seen and heard, the dark circles beneath her eyes and paleness be damned. _Fuck_ , he thinks with something like wonder because it's the first time he's witnessed V so openly _**joyful**_. _I'm in deep._

"I think Vik will fucking kill you after overcoming his embarrassment," she manages to say once she can breathe again. V looks thoughtful after a minute. "Though, _technically_ , you're older than him." She grins at the annoyed frown on his face, blue eyes dancing with her mirth. "You may have to call him _sport_ then," she giggles.

" _Thanks a lot, V_ ," is the dry reply. 

V reaches out with her free hand to tap his cheek patronizingly. "Don't worry, Johnnyboy. You still look good for your age, you fucking fossil." 

"Fuck off," Johnny huffs with a grin.

* * *

"I know you enjoy staring at me, but even this is a bit excessive."

V doesn't fall for it, even if he can feel the dash of embarrassment to go along with the faint hue of pink on her cheeks he's sure she has. But that could also be from them sitting out in the sun for the past few hours. "I think you should go see Kerry."

Johnny freezes, turning his attention from the streets of NC below to V. She looks a bit better today minus the flecks of dried blood that still lingered beneath her nose. The exhaustion is more prominent though, teasing at the very edge of his senses even if the merc outwardly looks fine as she slouches in her chair lazily. He's sure that V is shielding it from him though isn't entirely aware of it. Maybe a sort of defense mechanism that's pure instinct because of the feed back loop they have. "You askin' or tellin'?"

V smiles. "Both."

The rockerboy sighs, carding a hand through his hair. "Fine."

V's surprised, somewhat straightening up in her chair, eyes wide. "Just like that? No pushback?" she asks.

Johnny shrugs lazily. "What can I say? You've taught me a few things."

She blinks, slumping back into her chair. She's touched by that and knows that Johnny knows if the way he's barely smirking at her is anything. "Okay then," she breathes. "He's expecting you tomorrow at his place." V laughs at the unimpressed look she gets. "I asked Misty," she answers the unasked question, waving a hand at herself. Her amusement dies away at Johnny's frown, brown eyes settling on her form. He's _worried_. "I'll be fine, Johnny," V says softly. "You know this as well as I do."

Johnny crosses his arms, a lone eyebrow arching. Okay, yeah. Poor choice of words but the fact is that she _is_ feeling better. Slowly but surely. "Don't push yourself, V," he murmurs.

Her jaw tightens at that but she relents with a nod and a sigh. "I won't," she promises.

* * *

When Kerry opens his door and sees Johnny standing there, he punches him. 

Johnny stumbles back a step and rubs at his jaw, scowling. "Thought V already told you I was coming by at her demanding," he grumbles before walking in at Kerry's invitation.

The musician laughs, shaking his hand at the dull throb of pain. "She did. Just making sure I'm not dreaming." Kerry pulls Johnny into a tight hug that surprises the rockerboy but it's quickly returned before they let go. "How's our favorite merc?"

Johnny huffs, following after him. "Stubborn." He can't fight off the grin even if a part of him is unsettled that V isn't in sight. Can tell she feels the same way even if she's under careful watch by Misty at the moment. Johnny rolls his eyes as Kerry gives him a look. "She's doing better than before," he admits a few seconds later, voice just a tad softer. 

V's symptoms had occurred less and less the past few days. She was able to move more easily, trembles nearly gone now. Said that the migraines were lessening. Not to mention she looked less pale, slightly less haunted even if her own memories and experiences were far fresher than before. More rested even if he felt her bone deep weariness still. He figures that it's not something that will every truly go away after everything. She's only twenty eight and has lived through so much shit that others wouldn't have been able to handle, would have pulled the trigger on themselves long ago. But his girl is tough as nails and he's impressed as much as he's proud of her fighting spirit. Him being in her head for some time only helped enhance the spite and stubbornness she already had. A good thing for now but probably something that will come to bite him in the ass later on. 

Kerry stops to look at him. Scrutinizing. He chuckles, arms crossing over his chest, wearing that ridiculous robe of his. "Well, I'll be damned. V's softened you up."

Johnny scowls, plopping down on the couch and kicking his boots up onto the coffee table, shoving empty glasses out of the way. He ignores Kerry's protests. "Fuck off, Ker and get me a guitar if you're going to be fucking boring."

"Annnnd _there's_ the asshole I know."

* * *

Misty watches with amusement as V paces back and forth in her shop, from the back room to the entrance. Repeatedly. It's not something she's ever seen her friend do before when she was unsettled. Has a feeling it's because of V's own insistence that Johnny go pay a visit to his old friend Kerry. _The Kerry Eurodyne._

"You good, V?" she questions as said woman comes to a stop on the other side of the counter Misty is leaned against. 

V grunts, a hand running through her blue-green hair where it falls right back into her face. She looks healthier than when she had arrived over a week ago. "Just weird," she admits after a minute. "I can feel Johnny like before, like he's right with me but he ain't appearin' to bitch at me either." 

Misty laughs softly, chin tucked into the palm of her hand. "He do that a lot before?"

The merc snorts, lips pulling into a familiar grin, blue eyes twinkling with mirth. "Nearly every single job. A fuckin' diva he is."

The tarot reader hums. "I can see it. He's still pretty infamous even now. Though he seems a bit more tame than the rumors say," Misty teases lightly. 

"Only because I've been too tired to rise up to his bait. Usually we're bitin' one another's head off over somethin' stupid," V huffs with a roll of her eyes, lips curled into a smirk. She pauses, a glint in her eyes. "Ya know a shop or stall around here that sells a record player?"

"What for?" Misty asks even if she's already straightening up. It wouldn't be much trouble to close the shop for a couple of hours. Spend some long overdo girl time together. Plus, it would help get rid of that energy that's been building for weeks now as V was forced to do nothing but heal. 

V smiles widely, expression one of mischief and glee. Misty has to pause for a bit because it's been too long since she's seen V look like that. Not since her dear Jackie had gotten V to conspire with him to set up a surprise date. "I 'ot some SAMURAI vinyls and merch I wanna buy. Got a promise ta keep even if Johnny is 'onna hate it."

Misty grins. It's fond as V's speech regresses to her street kid roots in her excitement. "Tell me along the way."

* * *

Johnny pauses as he stops at the bottom of the stairs leading into Vik's clinic, the faint sound of _The Ballad of Buck Ravers_ playing from within and greeting his ears. The rockerboy closes his eyes with a sigh, chrome fingers coming up to squeeze the bridge of his nose beneath his aviators as he feels V's amusement grow further, now knowing he had returned by the resignation he suddenly had. His organic fingers curl tighter around the neck of his guitar, Kerry having shoved the damn thing back at him before shoving Johnny himself out his front door. 

Bastard.

The rockerboy takes the last few steps to round the corner, gate already open, to see Vik in his usual spot at his desk in his usual scrubs, only this time he's wearing a SAMURAI hat. Johnny turns his head to see Misty wearing a bootleg SAMURAI jacket. V looks at him with a grin, wearing the SAMURAI 2020 Tour shirt along with her SAMURAI pants she picked up long ago to annoy him. V's wearing a hat too and even though it's backwards, Johnny already knows it's like the one Vik wears.

" _Oh my god!_ " V squeals, hands coming up to cover her mouth in fake excitement, reminiscent of his fans from so long ago. " _It's Johnny Silverhand!_ " 

Vik and Misty don't bother to hide their laughter as Johnny looks up at the ceiling with a large sigh. "Really, V?" he grumbles, dropping his head back down. Annoyed as he sounds, his mouth is pulled into a grin, amusement joining her own. 

V turns to Misty and grabs her hands excitedly. Her giggling is real this time even if she continues the act. "He _knows_ me, Mist!" 

Misty's laughter joins hers. "Lucky you."

Vik chuckles, snagging the rockerboy's attention. The doc nods his head at the guitar in hand. "Here to give us a private show, Silverhand?" he jokes. 

Johnny hums, hefting the guitar up as he goes and sits in a vacant chair. "Just this once," he says reluctantly, even as he begins tuning and strumming the guitar. Even once the record ends, Johnny keeps playing, voice low but enchanting to his small audience as he plays covers of his favorite songs from decades ago, boot tapping along to his rhythm.

V can't help but think that there was nowhere else she would rather be, squished between Misty and Vik as they listen on. Thinks that Johnny has the same thought too from how his eyes catch hers briefly in the middle of one of his songs, a warm rush of emotion thrumming through their bond even as his eyes slip back closed.

(Something seems to click into place. A void that had been there beside her heart for as long as she could remember, only to, years later, be taken up by that sharpness that made the void it's own. It's a feeling she hadn't experienced in _twenty three years_.

Because...

With Johnny by her side, V feels like she's _home_.)

* * *

Later, when it's just him and V again in their temporary residence of Vik's clinic, the ripper doc having returned to his apartment for the night, Johnny looks at V, both sharing their usual cot. She's in a light doze, the room dark and silent, the combination a rare luxury in a place like Night City. The only sound that they focus on is one another's breathing. All this as more of a comfort for V, having woken from sleep one too many times in a panic from nightmares and Johnny not as much of a presence in her head like he once was. There are even a few nights where he wakes the same, still unbelieving of their situation.

(Truth is, Johnny finds himself gravitating towards her as much as V does with him, consciously or not. That on some level, they're trying to be one person again.)

Chrome fingers move with a near silent _clink_ to delicately trace some of the dark freckles on her cheek, causing the woman to curl her lips into the beginning of a smile. "Can't believe you went through with it." His voice is low, almost afraid to break this comfortable silence that slips so easily between them. He used to hate silence but now he can find moments of peace in it. Like this.

V hums, one curled hand coming up to grab his metal wrist lightly. Just leaves it there as Johnny continues his exploration across her face. "Said I would, didn't I? That I would act like one of your fans," she teases lightly before blue eyes open. They squint with amusement even as chrome digits trace the cyberware that sit beneath her eyes like frames. "'Sides, gotta private show from ya that most woulda killed for I'm sure. Pretty sure I saw Vik restrainin' himself from goin' all fanboy on ya for a minute there."

Johnny rolls his eyes, hand dropping back into the small space between them. Doesn't bother to remove her hold on his wrist still. "Don't expect it to become a normal occurrence," he warns.

"If you say so." V shrugs even if she can tell it's a lie. 

He's always humming something to himself. Even back when he was just an engram, there was always a low buzz in the back of her mind of a tune that seemed familiar as much as it wasn't that helped fill the silence between jobs when Johnny made himself scarce. Like a private soundtrack that played as she worked. Never loud enough to distract her but a steady reminder that she wasn't as alone anymore. As alone as she had always felt.

It's gone now of course, but in it's place is a steady flow of emotions that tether their minds together in ways others could only dream of. Not to mention the constant way Johnny taps his fingers against her skin to whatever song was on his mind whenever she was within his reach. V doesn't mind this at all. It seems only fair that she return the favor that Johnny so graciously gives her with his cyberarm. Knows that if she asked, he would stop with no complaint. But she doesn't, she _won't_ , because this feels natural.

(As with most things she's discovered and will continue to do so, Johnny seems to be the exception. The fucking prick.)

* * *

V stares down at the chip in her hand. It used to shine with life of the engram forced inside it, but now it's dull. Just another chip. 

"V."

She feels... _something_ as she blinks down at it. 

"V."

Numb. And...disbelief maybe.

There's a fond sigh from nearby but she doesn't really register it. " _V_."

To think this started everything. That she had been stuck with it inside her head else she die. 

_Again_.

A silver hand blocks it from view, settling on top of her open palm. The mechanical fingers curl around her wrist gently. A tether for her nearly overwhelming emotions. Another hand settles on her knee. " _ **Valkyrie**_."

V jolts, head darting up to see Johnny crouched before her, the noise of Night City sounding from below. Even at night it was just as loud and bright with activity. She exhales heavily, wondering how long she's held her breath for. 

"What?" she manages to get out. Doesn't mind that Johnny used her real name. She had nearly forgotten what it had sounded like because...because she's never told _anyone_ , having kept that one thing of her own to herself so tightly when Night City had taken everything else from her. Had even considered telling Jackie once but then-

She releases a shaky breath, free hand coming up to rest on top of his metal one. The coolness shocks her and helps ground her further. So much for feeling numb. 

"Think it's time we let this go," Johnny murmurs, dark eyes watching her carefully.

"I know," she replies softly as her eyes drift back down to their hands. Can still see the chip in her mind's eye. Remembers a bloody hand pressed just as gently, warm, against her own. 

_**Hold on to this. For me.** _

Then the hand falls away leaving the bloodied chip behind and she can only watch and stare uselessly as-

V blinks as the grip on her wrist tightens once before releasing, dragging her out of her memory. 

Right. 

They had decided to destroy it themselves. She still wants to but, well, it feels almost like a betrayal. 

Even if Johnny can't read her thoughts anymore, can only feel her emotions now, he seems to be able to tell exactly what she's thinking about right now. It's reassuring in an odd way. "I think," he starts slowly. Because he both knows but doesn't know Jackie Welles. Knows this is still a touchy subject for V, with memories far too fresh as she was forced to relive it all again, but also knows that she needs to hear this. That the Jackie she remembers wouldn't want her to keep hurting on his behalf long after he was dead. Misty had told him as much when they were waiting for V to wake. 

_(Misty looks at him with a sad smile, hugging her knees to her chest. The sound of the machines beeping steadily in the near silence of the clinic the only other sound. "Jackie would want V to keep moving on. Keep his memory alive by living and not hurting because of him."_

_Johnny takes a moment, his eyes finally drifting from V's too still form to the other woman. His brow furrows. "Why are you telling me this?" His voice is still rough from lack of use._

_"Because you're her guiding light," she says simply. Johnny is unsettled by the look in her eyes, like she knows something he doesn't. But he let's it go. V's his primary concern right now, eagerly awaiting the day she awakens.)_

Johnny is sure that he understands now though. "Your best choom, your _hermano_ , would agree that you've held on to this long enough, V."

There's a heavy silence before V finally nods. She sniffles, hand lifting to wipe at her eyes. "Yeah, okay." 

A beat as she turns over his metal hand and curls his fingers over the dead chip now laid against his palm. Both of her hands squeezing his metal fingers tightly as she looks him in the eyes. Johnny smiles softly before he stands, opening his hand where the chip falls to the ground between them. 

It shatters as his heel lands on it.

* * *

They're sat out at a nearby diner, both for something to eat and a change of scenery that isn't the clinic or Esoterica as it has been the past few weeks. They're getting some looks, mostly Johnny, because, well, it's Johnny Silverhand. Though as far as other people know, he's just some really well done look-a-like and not the real deal. But they don't pay much attention to it, annoying as it is. Johnny is more focused on V who is staring down at the table in deep thought, waiting for their food to arrive.

"What's up?"

V blinks, looking up at him, jaw tensing as she considers something before nodding to herself. She digs something out of her pocket before sliding it across the table towards him. When she pulls her hand away, he sees that it's a necklace. A bullet set in the middle of a circle. Metal fingers brush over it carefully as his eyes dart up to her. "Is this...?"

V nods. "It's weird not seeing you wearing your tags," she says with a shrug. 

Johnny laughs. "You could always give them back," he replies, even as he holds up the necklace in front of him. It sways side to side. 

She scowls, one hand coming up to clutch said tags that still hang around her neck. "No take backs."

He rolls his eyes, slipping it around his neck. His mouth ticks up at her pleased expression. "What are you? Five?" 

"Eat a dick, _old man_."

"You're just proving my point."

When their food arrives, V swipes some of his curly fries for herself and sticks her tongue out at him when he gives her a dry look. So what if she is proving the point. He's just as childish as she is because he swipes half of her nachos after and drinks half of her soda, which wow. 

Fucking **_rude_**.

" _Whore_ ," V calls him around a mouthful of food, blue eyes glaring. Johnny cackles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6DN8obCcDuHLuYzHrZ1i4H?si=VMrJ92c6TFeUtSuz-lV7Bw) if you're interested. If not, scream at me on tumblr at iwantedtobeadored


	3. forever yours (faithfully)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> V "takes" time off so her and Johnny simply...exist.
> 
> They find that they fit together quite well. That the only thing that's really changed is Johnny in his own body. Otherwise, they stick to each other like glue as they spend time together. Learning how to function with this new dynamic of theirs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've shortened this chapter from over 10k+ words to a little over 6k. Not only that but added and took out scenes for later. The woes of being a writer and your muses taking hold. ;-; lol
> 
> Thanks to my friends in Discord for flailing over some of my previews I give. sfhsjfhs It's good to see a reader's perspective when you've read and re-written the scene over a dozen times for days. dsjfhdsfjds
> 
> Chapter title lyric from Journey's _Faithfully._

"Take it easy, V."

"Okay."

"If there's any sign of those migraines again or sudden nosebleeds then call me. Hell, come right back here. I'll check you over."

V sighs, shoulders dropping with the exhale. Her mouth curls into the beginning of a smile as the ripper doc frets over her. She can feel Johnny's amusement from behind her, watching the scene unfold. Knows without looking that he's reclining against the wall with arms crossed, smug grin on his face and aviators hiding his eyes. A staple expression she's seen more of lately as he does nothing but watch Vik fuss over her like a worried mother hen. 

V is fond of the attention as much as she's annoyed by it. But she makes sure to never let it show because she has given the doc many reasons to panic over her wellbeing in such a short time. She can put up with it because it comes from a place of genuine care. And that's still a foreign feeling to the merc but one she doesn't really want to let go of with her strange little family she's found herself with.

Vik is just one of the very few people she holds dear to her heart and it's about time she's stopped lying to herself about it at least.

" _Viktor_ ," she stresses, eyes dancing with barely contained mirth when the doc stops in the middle of his sentence to stare at her in surprise. V only ever dishes out the full name when she's being serious. Wants someone's complete attention. "I'm good now. Been three days," she reminds gently.

Three days to make sure she suffered no side effects. That she was good. And V _does_ feel better, eager to do something that wasn't sitting on her ass or pacing a small area now that she could move around freely without potentially harming herself more because her body decided _nah, not today bitch_. 

Three days since the last time she coughed up handfuls of blood. Since the shitty nosebleeds. The worst migraines ever. More reliving was the fact of no more _seizures_. 

She's not the only one completely relieved, sensing Johnny's own so easily. Hell, he seemed just as antsy as she was to get moving. The fact he had stayed so long, barely leaving her side, said a lot to the merc. Brought up warm feelings in her again. But that was something to think about later. (She has the time to now. The _option_.)

V wanted to go live a little. Watch _Johnny_ experience life again only in his own body this time instead of just through hers.

She smiles when Vik releases a heavy sigh, hand running through his hair. "Alright. I'll quit my nagging. Get out of here already."

V laughs, patting the doc on the shoulder before she spins on her heels and heads Johnny’s way to where he is leaned against the exit. "See you later... _dad_ ," she tosses over her shoulder.

She cackles, dragging Johnny away as a strangled sound comes from behind her. There's a dull _thump_ against the wall before something clatters to the ground just as the two exit and V falls further into laughter, Johnny snickering beside her.

An organic arm slings around her shoulders, two rings that were once her own glinting out of the corner of her eye. They fit the rockerboy better than they ever did V. She doesn't know why she had kept them for so long the past few years, having collected dust on the counter of her bathroom mirror, but is ultimately glad that she was a bit of a hoarder for things she found intriguing.

"Where to?" Johnny questions. It's strange that he's not demanding they go to a specific place but then again, he has seen what NC had to offer, limited as his experience was at the time.

Now though....

V smiles, leaning against him as they go out the side gate in the alley and head towards the Porsche, Johnny having been using it to make runs to her - theirs now, wasn't it? - apartment to grab her spare clothes over the past few weeks and to care for Nibbles in her stead. She feels Johnny’s amusement as she lifts her hand, the key to the Porsche resting between her fingers, having slipped it from the inside pocket of his SAMURAI jacket. 

"Got a few ideas."

* * *

_Johnny looks from the SAMURAI jacket to V, hands staying on his hips instead of taking it. He barely bites back the smirk when V just huffs at him in annoyance. "Don't want it anymore?" he questions._

_He sees how V's mouth twitches, fighting off a frown, blue eyes now focused on the jacket and fingers gripping it slightly tighter. There's a brief wave of bitterness that brushes against his mind before it disappears just as quickly as it began._

_V shrugs a shoulder as she shoves the jacket at his chest. She's still avoiding looking at him, eyes now shifting up and focusing on the bullet necklace he wears. "Doesn't fit me right is all," she murmurs in reply._

_That he can't really deny. The collar was too high, concealing her face from the sides completely if she ducked down just slightly, nearly obscuring her vision at times but providing a sense of safety in others when hoodies had been her go to. The shoulders were a bit too wide and the end of the jacket stopped three inches past her waist. Hell, the sleeves fell over her hands which is why she shoved them up to her elbows to begin with. Even then, every so often, she would push them back up on jobs because they would start slipping down. Having Mantis Blades as a backup weapon made it necessary to keep her arms bare of sleeves whenever she ran through the streets of Night City, on the job or not._

_It was obvious that it wasn't truly tailored for her to begin with._

_The jacket was clearly recreated with Johnny in mind in the end and that said a lot to V. Hurt her in a way that only Johnny will ever know. But not once had the mercenary decided to change it for something else once acquiring it because she had felt his relief at wearing something familiar in this new world he was in, replica or not. He's grateful for it even if he somewhat hates how self sacrificing V truly can be._

_The rockerboy hums, hands reaching up to take the jacket and holds it out before him when V's hands drop away. He slips it on with ease and he's both pleased and bitter that it fits him just the way it used to._

_"Well?" he says instead of focusing too much on those feelings, arms spread wide at his sides._

_V's mouth ticks up slightly, eyes softening as she looks him over. The expression has his heart stuttering in his chest._

Fuck _, he thinks with awe. Silently swears to himself that he'll do more to get V to look like that. Look at **him** like that. He was still a selfish bastard after all._

_He didn't want anyone else to be able to see V like this. Only him._

_"Look good as new," she comments lightly, hands reaching up and out to smooth down the shoulders then front of the jacket without much thought. Johnny stays still, watching with a heavy lidded gaze, fingers twitching at his sides as he resists the urge to grab her._

_This feels strangely domestic. And...he sort of likes it._

_He then realizes that he really, really wants to kiss her. But he lets the opportunity slip by._

_Now's not the time. The whole situation still too new to add that kind of weight to it._

_~~(Who would've thought? Johnny Silverhand denying his own wants. She's really changed him, huh?)~~ _

_She doesn't seem to realize what she's doing, what Johnny is feeling or the weight of his gaze on her either as she simply reaches a hand up to the collar, finger pressing the button that makes the inside of it light up._

_"Not bad," she adds, taking a step back to give him another look over._

_He smooths his expression into a cocky grin as V looks up at him. "Damn straight." Organic fingers coming up to tap the collar lazily. "The light made your complexion look like shit anyways."_

_She barks out a laugh, shoving his shoulder hard enough he rocks back slightly. She has to work on her strength again, he notes silently. Knows that it should have forced him to take a step back at least. V's smile is strained as she realizes it too._

_"Dick," she says instead. There’s no bite to the word like there once was._

_"Cunt," he replies without missing a beat, grin edging into something lighter. The insult falls flat, a touch of affection littering his tone._

_They'll be good. He truly believes it._

* * *

V is at a stop light which gives her the chance to _finally_ look at the one who's been staring her down for the past ten minutes. Besides the idling of the engine, the only other sound is the low volume of the tunes from the _Body Heat_ radio station. 

( _Johnny gives her a look. "V...come on," he whines at the music choice._

_She gives him a look and a sly smile. "Driver picks the music and shotgun shuts his cakehole."_

_The rockerboy pauses and V gets the feeling he's squinting at her. "I feel like I know that one. From a show that Ker would watch."_

_V grins. "That's who I got it from," she chimes, laughing softly at his huff. "So when you drive, I don't get to bitch about your choices either."_

_"...you talking shit about my band?"_

_"What was the name again?" she ponders teasingly. "Sea of Fries? Stirred Pies?"_

_"V. Please."_

_"Sinners Lie?"_

_"Val- wait, no. That's actually a good title."_

_"Too bad. It's mine."_

_"We'll see about that."_ )

She's almost unnerved by the intense gaze from behind dark aviators beside her. Even more by how something seems... _missing_. 

"You good?" she inquires with a frown. 

Johnny blinks, seeming to come out of whatever he was thinking so heavily about. That feeling of absence disappears with it and V feels her muscles loosen, unaware that she had grown so tense over it. The rockerboy sits up slightly from where he leaned against the passenger door, throwing a small grin her way. "Just testing something."

V's response is delayed by the loud blaring of a horn behind her. The merc swears profusely as she turns her attention back to the still red light, intentionally sitting at the _now_ green light for a full minute even as a cacophony of horns blare behind her, Johnny's chuckles growing in volume with each beep. She waits despite the blaring horns of angry drivers and right before it turns red, she slams on the gas pedal, tires squealing on the asphalt as the Porsche takes off to her destination. For good measure, V throws a middle finger out the window behind her as she speeds away. 

"Road rage much?" Johnny teases from beside her.

V grumbles. "Not my fault this city has fuckin' dumbasses behind the wheel." She knows it was the wrong thing to say because she can feel the grin she knows he suddenly has.

"Like you?"

"I will _literally_ drive into the barrier. Don't tempt me."

A chuckle. "No need to tell me twice. I remember the Hella."

She side eyes him through her strands of hair, one hand leaving the steering wheel to brush them behind her ear before her hand returns to it's previous spot. 

"First of all," she begins with a smile. "I didn't crash it so much as chipped the paint because of fucking Scavs. _Secondly_ , I distinctly remember someone causing an accident because they were fingering the driver," the merc points out. She keeps her tone light, voice lilting with humor.

Even so, Johnny winces. That night when he was given full reigns of her body wasn't his proudest moment. Especially because he could see as much as feel all the pain that V had to deal with in the aftermath for the few days after on top of her broken trust. V must pick up on his guilt because her hand moves from the steering wheel to sit on top of his chrome hand on his thigh even as she keeps her eyes on the road, voice shifting to something soft and honest. 

" _Hey_. I forgive you." She backs her words up by squeezing the cool metal. It's backed up further by the swirling emotions in their head.

"Probably shouldn't," he mutters, staring down at her hand. 

V hums, vaguely amused. "Maybe so, but I do anyway." A beat. "We've come a long way since then I like to think."

Johnny breathes out slowly, nodding his head even though she can't see it. He flips his hand over beneath her own, silver fingers threading between organic ones with familiarity before she can pull it away. A silver thumb brushes idly against her skin. 

A quick glance up and, yeah, there's that smile he likes seeing again. He doesn't bother to fight off his own as he turns to stare out the window, watching the city streets pass them by as V takes them somewhere she's keeping tight lipped about. 

The rest of the drive is spent in comfortable silence between them with the low beats of pop music filling in the background.

* * *

" _No fuckin' way_ ," Johnny breathes half an hour later as they near the ferris wheel and roller coaster in Pacifica. He puts his aviators in the glove box, the sun already setting, casting the sky into hues of red, orange, and pink. 

V laughs as she pulls into the abandoned parking lot nearby. "Oh yeah," she confirms as she shuts off the car's engine. "Thought you'd like to experience the thrill without a delayed response this time."

Johnny already has his seat belt off, passenger door shoved open and one foot out the door. "Fuck yeah, V! Let's _go_!"

The merc is laughing at his enthusiasm even if she's just as hasty to join the rockerboy, Porsche locking behind them as Johnny grabs her hand and tugs her along eagerly. She takes her time turning the power back on as Johnny taps his boot impatiently beside her. Once she claims them good to go, he's dragging her to the front seats, nearly shoving her in the cart. 

"Talk about eager," she laughs as they sit down and the restraints come down over their shoulders.

"It's a fuckin' roller coaster, V. Why _wouldn't_ I be?" is the excited reply as he turns to look at her with a wide smile as the cart starts moving. "Bet you'll scream," he repeats from an echo of before. 

"Hundred eddies says you'll scream louder," she goads this time around.

Dark eyes narrow and his smile widens so much that V swears her heart skips a beat at the sight. " _Fuckin' bet._ "

* * *

(Years later, they'll still bicker about who was screaming louder that day.

One thing is for sure though. Right before the first drop, their hands clasped around one another and stayed that way the entire ride.)

* * *

The two stumble into the apartment later that night, dropping the multitude of bags full of new clothing to the side to put away later, sleep tugging at them from the fun they had bitching at one another over new outfits. 

( _"Why do I need more clothes? What I have is just fine."  
_

_"Because you can't just go around naked when these get dirty all the time, Johnny."  
_

_"Sure I can. Nibbles runs around naked all the time."_

_"He's a cat and you're a grown ass man. There's a difference."_

_"I'm hotter and more distracting. Obviously."_

_"Uh huh. Sure. Now will you just pick a fucking shirt, you fucking diva?"_ )

V had just removed her last boot when there's a loud, drawn out mewl from the couch, her arms scooping up the hairless feline that darts toward her and cradling the heavily purring cat to her chest. "Hello handsome," she greets, tears gathering at the corner of her eyes as a bald head rubs against her jaw aggressively, mewling loudly. "Missed you too."

Johnny rubs at his jaw, the scruff of his beard rough against his organic hand as he watches the scene from his spot on the arm of the couch, smile hidden in the palm of his hand. 

"Welcome back, V," he says softly. It seems loud in the quiet of the apartment, the noise of Night City dull behind the walls of it.

She looks up and their eyes lock. V smiles. It's a small and vulnerable thing. "Welcome back, J," she replies just as softly.

* * *

It's not even that strange that they're dressed down this time as they go to bed, V in one of her large shirts and shorts and Johnny in a new tank and pair of sleep pants. A joke is on the tip of his tongue when he feels a hand wrap around his own those first few seconds as he heads to the couch but he swallows it down at the slightest hint of V's fear and hesitation in his head before he actually sees it in the way she looks up at him. 

"Stay?" she asks lowly, voice tinted with that vulnerability that seems to crop up more often when it's just them now. She's giving him the option to say no and would respect whatever his answer was. Like she half expects him to.

And it almost irritates him that she thinks like that still, but he gets it. They're alike in that aspect of shoving others away before they got too close, wanting to save themselves from the hurt it would eventually bring when they were left alone in the end.

But that's not them anymore now, is it?

Besides, even if he wanted to, Johnny can't find it in him to refuse V when she looks and sounds like that. 

She may not realize it yet but she's got him completely. Heart, body, and soul.

"Scoot over," he grumbles, motioning with his free hand. He feels something in him soften further at the look of glee she has as she lets go to make room for him, shifting back into the cubbie of the bed, her back pressed against the wall and as close to the corner as possible. It's an ingrained habit from her days when she was living in the streets, one she's been unable to break, trying to keep herself from feeling too exposed even as she sleeps in what she knows is safety.

He wraps his cyberarm over her waist as he faces her, his other tucked beneath the spare pillow as he lays down, V curling up against him with her head tucked beneath his chin, a hand settling over his heart after she pulls the covers over them, their legs tangling together. Johnny feels completely at ease like this and knows V does too because it's not long before she's out like a light. The rockerboy follows swiftly after once Nibbles joins them, the feline curling up on the pillow next to his face, rumbles of his contented purrs a calming sound in the otherwise low electric hum of the apartment. 

* * *

There are nights where sleep doesn't come easily for them, the other staying up because of whatever demon may be lurking in the other's head that particular evening. 

It starts with Johnny first and V is quick to notice as she feels the heaviness on her end of whatever has him thinking so deeply on the couch, guitar in hand but going unplayed despite his fingers on the frets and strings. Neither of them are still that great about talking about whatever is plaguing them still (they're working on it), so instead she stands from her spot on the bed, shucks off her jeans until she's just in her tank and underwear and walks over to him.

She doesn't pay much attention to how startled Johnny gets nor the wide eyed look he gives her as she gently removes the guitar from his grip and places it in it's usual spot next to the window and couch before she takes a seat on the couch and places her legs on his jean clad lap. V merely raises an eyebrow, lips twitching up into a ghost of a smile as that heaviness in her head seems to lighten somewhat at his surprise. She leans forward, grabbing his flesh hand and setting it on her thigh, over the ink stained there of a skull crying blood, a knife clenched between it's teeth.

Even though she placed it there on purpose, she still jumps from the touch, goosebumps forming at the foreign sensation. V squeezes Johnny's wrist before she lets go, lying back as she stares at the ceiling and trying to keep her embarrassment to a minimum. 

(A small price to pay compared to the heaviness that clouds their connected minds.)

"That was my first tattoo. Think I was thirteen," she states, breaking the tense silence that they fell in with her act. A moment before she twitches as calloused fingers trace the tattoo with gentleness, repeatedly. Like he was trying to memorize the image through sight and touch.

Maybe he was.

His cyberhand comes to rest just below her knee, thumb brushing the skin idly as she delves into the stories of each tattoo on her leg as Johnny asks about them, fingers tracing them almost reverently. 

V feels her cheeks flame with mild embarrassment and a growing hunger as fingertips linger on the inside of her thigh, voice cracking at some points because it suddenly felt way more intimate. But the moment passes as she continues on after a shaky inhale, heel digging harshly into an amused rockerboy's thigh as he wiggles his eyebrows at her with a knowing grin.

"Ow! _Fuck!_ " he laughs. "I'll behave. Keep going."

"You better," she grumbles with a glare before moving on, that sudden heat, **_lust_** , she felt tampering off into something she could overlook for now. Could dwell on later when she wasn't half naked in his lap. 

Johnny has the tattoos seered into his mind and knows the story behind each one on her left leg that night. Of some of the scars they hide beneath the ink. 

It becomes a routine thereafter, especially when V feels that simliar heaviness of her own, her turn to trace the black ink on Johnny's arm and memorizing it herself as Johnny confesses to her in the quiet of the night what they really mean to him. Then when she has those few memorized, Johnny slips off his shirt, revealing his other tattoo on his right rib.

Most notably, are the scars on the left which give V pause, fingers hovering over the dark pink skin instead, almost afraid to touch. She knows he was a soldier, knows of and had briefly lived his assault on Arasaka, but he just seemed untouchable to a certain degree. The scarring proves otherwise.

There's a soft exhale of amusement before a metallic hand curls around her wrist gently to place her still fingers against the warm skin.

_Alive_ , she reminds herself. _He's **alive**._

"I know I look good, but you can touch, y'know. I'm not gonna break." The joke falls flat, his voice soft in their silence as he takes in V's surprise and hesitation. There's a slight sign of pity too but Johnny knows it's not because she sees him as weak. Rather it's because of how wide and deep they were to have healed up like this, how painful they must have been when he received them. He breathes out slowly as fingers trace the largest scar starting from an inch by his belly button and up diagonally to beneath his robotic arm. Even without looking, he knows that it ends just inches from his spine on his back. Feels it sometimes.

(Arasaka had left it's mark on him in more ways than one.)

Those same fingers move down to trace the other smaller scars on his torso, committing them to her memory much like his tattoos and hands. Johnny can't help but watch V's face as her eyes and fingers study him so intensely where she straddles him as he lies back on the bed. It's a different sort of intimacy he's yet to experience, had yet to let himself ever indulge in. He wonders, distantly and with mild amusement, when V will catch up and realize that he's being the more emotionally aware one of the pair when it had been the other way around.

His mouth quirks up slightly as fingers and eyes shift to his tattoo, done with memorizing his scars for now. 

Johnny can't help but think now as fingers press against black ink that V touches him with such softness and gentleness. Such care that few of her closest friends get to see but know it lurks just beneath the surface. 

(He's lucky. He truly is.)

It's a stark contrast to when she's on a job, hands coated in blood and gunpowder, fingers wrapping tightly around someone's neck and snapping it so easily with a cold look or squeezing the trigger of a gun. Or wrapped tightly around the hilt of a blade, sharp steel sinking into flesh so easily as muscles and tendons slice open, life's essence spilling forth like a river from the one who dared cross her path at that moment.

It's here, in this moment with a beautiful woman straddling him in just her shirt and underwear as he lays shirtless beneath her, his arms crossed beneath his head as calloused fingertips continuously trace his tattoos and scars so sweetly that his heart nearly _aches_ with it, that Johnny cements the fact that he is so far gone on V.

He is deeply, madly in love with her. With Valkyrie.

And while he had loved Alt and Rogue, a part of him _always_ will despite how he burned those relationships to ashes so _easily_ , Valkyrie is different. 

In more ways than one.

She knows him down to his very _soul_ and still _enjoyed_ his company. _Reached_ for him when they were of one body and sharing a mind and sought for him still, _like now_ , separated. Fitting into each other's personal space so _easily_ and without second thought when any other would be shot or stabbed for it.

Because it felt _right_. Settled _something_ in them that was desperately reaching for what had been. 

Johnny wasn't one to ever believe in soulmates, as it sounded like a meaningless thing that couples were desperate to strive for. But wasn't that what him and V were now? Or as close to the word as two people could get? 

With Soulkiller having essentially destroyed their original selves to create something new in it's place?

Like a phoenix?

_That would make a good song_ , he thinks with a slow exhale, mouth tugged into a smile as he lazily watches V go back to tracing his scars.

He's already, mentally, written two new songs in his head so why not make a third? All, of course, inspired by her.

(He'll play them for her one day. Once she catches on to her own feelings that he's already aware of.

He's learned patience from V but he may have to nudge her emotionally sooner rather than later because he can only take so much of these little domestic moments before he has to crush down his overwhelming desire to kiss her senseless.

And while he enjoys her sitting on him like this, his dick does _not_ enjoy being hard so long without relief in sight.

...Damn. 

He's really acting like a love struck teen, huh?)

* * *

Before long, Johnny knows what all of V's tattoos mean, the story of why she got them, what some of them hide. Her legs are completely covered in ink, from thighs to ankles, mostly dark tones with splashes of vibrant color here and there, all woven into a history uniquely hers.

A flower tattoo on her neck that memorializes someone from her childhood of a could have been friend. A flock of black birds flying across the back of her shoulders from one to the other. The one set between her collar bone and chest of roses and thorns and an orange butterfly with a golden V set beneath it of a lost bet between her and Jackie, when she failed to lift the man.

( _"Are you fucking with me? That was the bet? If you could carry him?" Johnny laughs._

_V giggles. She knows it was ridiculous but she doesn't regret it. "I could lift Vik! Probably still can. I thought Jackie would be just as easy!" she defends herself. "He was bulkier than I assumed though."_

_"Well, you know what they say about assuming, V."_

_"Fuck off, Johnny."_ )

Johnny's favorite tattoo though is the one he got as a joke, finding himself dragging V close just to pull her arm to him often, fingers tracing the black ink of such a simple design compared to the rest of her ink on those sort of sleepless nights when thoughts and memories weighed too heavy.

_Johnny + V_

She never outright says it, but Johnny thinks it's her favorite too. He catches her sometimes, when she thinks he's not looking, staring down at it with the fondest expression he's ever seen, fingers tracing his name lightly.

He feels his heart skip a beat each time and knows that the rush of affection isn't just his own right then. It gives him an idea. Plus, it's been a long time since he last got ink.

"Hey, V," he says on one of those late nights, a few days after the idea took root and refused to leave, when they're walking the streets of their district. There's barely anyone out at this late hour, the neon lights illuminating the otherwise dark street, the chatter of a few radio stations playing faintly in the distance. Sometimes, faint gun fire breaks out and echoes in the night air, blocks from them that they decide to change their direction over it. Their guns are hidden, strapped to their person just in case someone wants to start something, but they've yet to have any trouble on these excursions. 

Which, considering V's track record for attracting trouble and Johnny wanting to cause it, is some sort of miracle but not one they're willing to test just yet.

They pass by one of the occasional NCPD units on patrol, simply walking on by the heavy, watchful eyes of the city's police with a wide berth, making themselves seem less of a threat than they truly are. The merc hums, hands stuffed into the pockets of her grey zip up, hood pulled up and obscuring most of her face. There's the sound of a rush of air, a pink bubble forming from her mouth before it pops, the sound sharp and brief in the near quiet. 

"How much eddies do you got on you?"

She twists her head, eyeing him with a suspicious gaze. Lips coated in black lipstick purse with it. "Why?" she drawls out.

Johnny glances out of her from the corner of his eye for a second before returning his gaze forward. He smirks. "I want some ink."

V pauses, blinking as Johnny keeps on walking ahead of her. She swears beneath her breath, jogging to catch up to him, the bastard not even bothering to slow down for her sake. One hand slips from her pocket, arm wrapping around his mechanical one before tucking her hand back into the warmth of her pocket. "Like what? A giant dick?" she teases, bumping against him. "Kinda surprised you haven't done that yet."

Johnny snorts. "That's only meant to be drawn in and on inappropriate places for all to see. But no. This one's different. Got as much meanin' to me like the rest." 

That piques her interest as she senses his amusement. "So? You gonna tell me or do I gotta keep tossin' out guesses?"

The rockerboy hums in thought, lips quirking into the beginnings of a smile. He takes note of where they are and knows they're headed in the right direction, brief as that one night was. "Three guesses," he bets. "But they're all going to be wrong which means you'll have to wait to see the final result."

V laughs, shaking her head. "Deal."

* * *

She had lost of course, left to pout in the waiting room in the somewhat familiar office of the tattoo shop. V doesn't mind too much though as she curls up into her seat, legs dangling over the arm of the chair, using Johnny's SAMURAI jacket as a makeshift blanket while she waits. Half lidded eyes stare blankly at one of the posters on the wall, the warmth of the place, the buzzing of a tattoo needle starting up beneath the low tones of the two men talking about something and the soft tune of _Black Dog_ playing on the radio all combining into a pleasant atmosphere that was rare to come by in Night City. A feeling of comfort and safety washes over her with this realization even if she keeps her gun close at hand on her stomach beneath her makeshift blanket.

One could never be _too_ careful these days.

V's eyes slip closed as she sinks further beneath the borrowed jacket, the collar obscuring her face from the nose down as she falls into a light doze.

* * *

There's a soft chuckle some time later before warm fingers brush through her hair, pulling her from her light sleep. V sinks further down into her spot with a grunt, her annoyance brushing against the swell of Johnny's amusement. 

"Gotta pay the man the last half, V."

She grumbles, shifting until she's sitting up, SAMURAI jacket now draped in her lap and her gun hidden beneath it. Her hands reach up in her still half asleep state, unzipping her jacket partially to slip a hand down her shirt and into her bra. A blue eye peeks open at the sound of a low whistle and V can't help but match her smirk with Johnny's own.

When she pulls her hand back out, there's a large roll of eurodollars between her fingers that V shoves into Johnny's hand. "He can keep it," she mumbles, knowing it's more than what's due judging by Johnny's arched eyebrow.

The rockerboy nods before he's gone to pay for his session, V covering her mouth with one hand when she breaks out into a yawn, the other grabbing her gun and tucking it into the back of her belt, holster carefully hidden beneath her jacket. She hears familiar footsteps headed her way and stands, V waving lazily at the artist before her and Johnny take their leave. Once they get outside, V turns to him with a look. "So?" 

Johnny huffs, rolling his eyes as takes his holo out to call for the car, leaning against the shop's wall as they wait. " _So demanding_ ," he grumbles even as he holds out his flesh arm towards her, silver hand tucking his holo away into the pocket of his jeans. 

V takes it, angling his arm with her free hand so the light above them isn't obscuring the wrap around his forearm. Before she even sees it, V has a feeling what it is already by the placement alone as it finally clicks in her sleepy mind. Combine that with what feels like Johnny holding his breath in her head, she has the right idea because black ink stares up at her, a replica of the one on her right arm in the same spot and style.

_Johnny + V_

Complete with the heart and arrow.

The merc swears her heart stops, a swell of emotion flowing through her. Her eyes surprisingly grow wet.

_Got as much meanin' to me as the rest_ , he had said just an hour before. She looks up when a cold thumb brushes away a falling tear. 

"Not that bad is it?" he jokes, brow pinched in worry. He's purposely blocking himself from her and she hates and loves -

_....oh._

That's what that is. That sharp something that's made a home near her heart.

Why _Johnny_ feels like _home_.

V blinks, dropping the jacket to the ground as her hands move to grab Johnny's head, pulling him down towards her as she surges up to press her mouth against his. 

_"Fucking finally_ ," she hears him laugh into the kiss as his arms wrap around her waist, tugging her closer. 

She nips his bottom lip in retaliation, enough that the threat of breaking the skin was there, her fingers curling into dark strands as it gets a groan from him. She laughs breathlessly at that, only for it to cut off as Johnny swallows the sound, one hand coming to cup the back of her head and the other-

V shouts, jumping back slightly as cold digits dip beneath her jacket and shirt to press against her skin. She doesn't get far though, a grinning Johnny keeping her in place. V laughs, face red from the combination of the cool night, her embarrassment, and pleasure from her sudden realization. What everything had been building towards without her paying much attention to. And why would she when it had all felt so _natural_?

That she had slipped so easily into loving Johnny, faults and all?

"Sorry," she says quietly, pulling her sleeve over her hand to wipe away her black lipstick staining his mouth even if she jerks to the side as cold fingers trail up along her ribs. 

Johnny shrugs, a half smile on his face, eyes flicking over to the Porsche as it pulls up, beeping it's arrival. He knows she's not apologizing for the lipstick. "I was gonna wait as long as you needed," he admits, eyes focusing back on V. He grins at her shy smile, catching it before it's quickly hidden by her sleeve to wipe her smudge lipstick. It's alright. He can feel it just the same. 

"Johnny Silverhand? _Waiting?_ Unheard of," comes the muffled tease.

The rockerboy hums, silver hand trailing back down V's side. _Ticklish_ , he notes as she jerks again, hand coming down to grab his wrist in warning and teeth biting into her bottom lip. Blue eyes narrow at him as his grin widens. He lets his hands fall away, V stepping back as he leans down to grab his discarded jacket to brush off the dirt. "Some gonk chick I know taught me to have patience," he says as he drapes the jacket around her shoulders, V staring at him with wide eyes. Affection thrums between them as he guides her to the car. "Figured I'd take her lesson and put it to practice. Seems to be workin' so far."

The merc leans against Johnny's side, hands coming up to pull the lapels of the jacket closed. She raises a brow, lip quirking up into a smile as Johnny opens the passenger door for her with a flourish. "Sounds like a smart lady."

He leans in, pressing a soft kiss against her lips, smiling. "Smartest cunt I know in this shit hole of a city."

A sharp bark of laughter. "Fucking dick," V says as she gets in. 

"That's the idea at some point, V." Johnny waggles his eyebrows, laughing as V grows flustered, face flaming red and sputtering as he closes the door. He rubs his shoulder once he rounds the car and gets in the driver's seat, V taking the opportunity to punch him and making him chuckle. "Home?" he asks as the Porsche roars to life.

V reaches over to the middle console, grabbing his organic hand in hers where it rests. Blue eyes meet brown as she smiles at him. "Home," she repeats softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
> yell at me on [tumblr](https://iwantedtobeadored.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on [tumblr](https://iwantedtobeadored.tumblr.com/)


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